Saturday, July 25, 2009

Moon People

So Demetri Martin is in pre-production for this movie he wrote the screenplay for called "Moon People". There's not much information about it except that he is going to star in it and he wrote it. The best overview I found said it was about people who were sent to the moon to colonize return to earth. I assume mayhem and hilarity ensues from there. So I've decided I'm going to do whatever I can to bother my acting coach who works close with my old agency who hopefully is going to sign me back next month to get me an audition for that movie. Even if it's a small part. I'm a huge fan of Demetri and even if I don't meet him, I feel like it's a good goal to shoot for. I assume they haven't started casting for it because there is literally NO information about this film. Unless it's like super secret project... but why?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
oh yes Cassandra, I definitly want you in my movie. What? You definitly want me inside you? Well, okay. But only because I look like all rugged and sex god ish in this picture you chose for your blog.

So that's the plan. I'll keep updates about it. Nobody reads this yet, but man it's gonna be cool if I end up in the movie and I have proof that I called it.

Til then, I must admit that I've been trying to make a really shitty mixtape and can always think of like one or two songs and download entire albums and then end up enjoying them. I think this means I have awful taste in music... I wanted some poppy dumb Jason Mraz song for the shitty mixtape but now am listening to the whole album. It has lifted my spirts. wtf Jason, quit being so happy go lucky. alright i'm done with this post.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Cassandra Loves The New York Knicks

So I'm going to try really hard this year to get into basketball because not unlike many other sports I sort of just listen to what my brother says occasionally to be mildly updated on what's going on. Then there is baseball that for the most part, I take it upon myself to know what's going on. SO the Lakers won the NBA Championship this past season and I felt like an idiot because I had no clue what was going on. This October, I will be Miss Basketball and follow it like I follow baseball. Maybe even more closely because, sorry Dodgers, but basketball is a bit more entertaining to watch the entire game without being on Facebook or cleaning my apartment at the same time. However, Lakers and Clippers fans annoy me so I'm going with what I see is the next best thing: The Knicks. This doesn't make sense to anyone but me, because The Knicks honestly didn't do that great last season and this upcoming season is rumored to be no exception for many different reasons BUT i'll explain why The Knicks are for me: (if I ever marry a Knicks fan and they ask how a Cali girl got into that team, I officially can't tell them some meanful story about it because I'm choosing to make my dumb and totally shallow reasoning public domain)

1.) probably the most important, LOTS OF HOT JEWISH GUYS IN NEW YORK. Also, lots of hot New York jewish guys that love basketball. In turn, another (amongst the many) thing that makes me more attractive to my future born into Judism but probably not super practicing Jewish Hilarious Tall husband that if he exsists I have yet to meet him.

2.) in picking a team other than the Lakers and Clippers, The Denver Nuggets popped into my mind because I did spend 11 yrs old my childhood in Colorado. But honestly... I like being in New York much more than being in Colorado. I'm perfectly content being one of those types who can only live in New York or Los Angeles because those two places are so different from the rest of the US. I've heard it descibed as "NYC and LA are like two bubbles connected by JetBlue and seperate from the world". So sorry childhood, but I'll root for the Broncos but that's about it...

3.) speaking of The Broncos: their colors are orange and blue and so are The Knicks! My dad LOVED the Broncos and they are my favorite football team, so those colors mean a lot.

4.) My brother thinks rooting for The Knicks is an AWFUL idea. That's a lot of incentive to continue rooting for this team because when they do come out and start being a super kick ass team (whenever that does eventually happen) I'll get such joy from being right in the end. Steve (my brother) seems to think it will require them to build a new stadium for The Knicks to play at outside of the middle of the city because Madison Square Garden is really really old. Along with that, he says The Knicks can't afford anyone decent and rich people in New York get taxed the most in the entire country so no rich basketball player wants to move there. Disagree all you want with all this because I do. I do simply because I'm so dead set on loving The Knicks, but maybe you know what he's talking about. And by "you" I mean nobody of course because I'm unaccomplished still and I present nobody any reason to read this blog. But hey, maybe someday someone who is super obsessed with me will spend a few hours on the internet and will watch and read everything I've ever done and skim through this...

So in conclusion, be prepared to see me in a blue and orange sweatshirt and rooting for my new favorite basketball team the New York Knicks haha!

Jewish boys mmmmm...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

imdb is always fun to explore around

I searched Jack black on imdb, and ended up on a porno star's page. Star of such films as "Don't look now, but there's a cock in you ass." Not joking. Along with 822 other films made between now and 1973. One year younger than my mother. Thought I'd share, I thought it was funny.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Sprite commercial

Not one that I'm in, just a crazy rejected one to racy for Germany I guess. It's intense and hilarious haha. It's cut off for some reason on the blog but all that sprite is being shot out of a sprite bottle, not his dick. The bottle is however positioned as if it were his dick....

Headshots and heat waves

Nobody reads this, but if you happen to be a decent photographer in LA in the mood to do some simple FREE headshots, please contact me at cassandracardenes@gmail.com. I'm in desperate need of some quickly and would pay for some but since money is so tight I really don't want my agent to just see my new ones with my new hair then refer me to another photographer, which has happened before and is very frustrating...

ON THAT NOTE... It is insanely hot in the Valley. It has been for the past couple of weeks and honestly feel like I might melt before September arrives. I'm trying to think of some elaborate plan to somehow make it possible to move over the hill into actual Hollywood as soon and possible and take the heat down a few degrees. I think the only way that will be possible is teaming up with my lovely mother and sharing rent on some fabulous rental home in Los Feliz... with a pool. Dare to dream...

Soo yeah not much else to write about... I will recommend the movie Seeing Other People. I watched it yesterday on the Sundance Channel and it was pretty interesting. Jay Mohr and Andy Richter are in it. About two engaged people sleeping with other people before they get married and as you can guess that doesn't work. Anddd.... I'll post this video because Stella is amazing and my last post was going on about David Wain:

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm Cassandra AKA Chicken Shit

First of all before I go on a rant about the title, my "live" feed of twitter is really pissing me off because that shit isn't live... it's very slow. follow me at www.twitter.com/casscardenes since my feed is stupid...

ANYWHO! So I'm weird... I enjoy being on stage, I enjoy meeting new people and being approached by people and all kinds of positive attention. And when I meet people, I'm typically (depending on my mood and the crowd) loud and I don't know, myself. BUT for some fucking reason I CANNOT approach people I don't know. Well maybe that's dramatic, I can't approach people who I'm a fan of (celebrity, random comedian who is just funny but nobody famous, etc.) or whose insanely attractive. When they are both, which happens most often, it's the WORST. I'd rather sing in public or something that's commonly embarrassing for people then have to approach someone i'm a fan of. Last night David Wain was coming out of Ron and Bev at the UCB theater and I love love love love him. And so does my sister Elizabeth. Elizabeth left yesterday morning to go back home to Colorado so I knew the biggest fuck you to her would be a picture of David Wain and I. I love her, but we do things to spite each other for no reason... and by we, i usually mean i do these things because i really want her to move here so i show off things she will envy. think i'm a bitch? fuck you. Sooooo I saw Wain and my stomach did turns and I was really star struck, which never happens, so that on top of my awful approaching skills made this picture seem impossible. I ended up having to be pushed (non obviously of course) by my friends into speaking to him. I'm pretty sure he was talking to Zoe Deshenel or whatever too and she was the one who took the picture. All the while Elizabeth Banks had just finished talking to David. Star studded event haha. I felt so much better that I did it, but wtf Cassandra?


What are you talking about Cassandra of course I want to take pictures with you... Infact let's take some naked.

How do I get better at approaching people? I'm terrified of the small talk and possible rejection I guess. Not to mention I'm very young... Beyond legal, but young. An attractive (jewish most likely) man strolls out of a theater after putting on an amazingly funny show, I somehow find the balls to speak to him, and our conversation I feel will go one of two ways:

"Hey I'm Cassandra"
"Hi I'm (attractive (jewish) man name)"
"You were really great tonight"
"Thanks" *sees friend thanks me for coming, maybe, and walks away*

OR

"Hey I'm Cassandra"
"Hi I'm (attractive (jewish) man name)"
"You were really funny tonight" (the "funny" instead of "great" is what keeps him talking to me I think)
*---insert awful awkward small talk----*
"So can I buy you a drink, were you planning on going next door?"
"Oh yeah I can't get in next door, I uhhh... don't have an ID"
"Like you forgot it?"
"ummm... -----"
TWO OPTIONS NOW! LIE:"--- yeah I forgot it at home" OR: "--- well it's because i'm (insert unfortunate age here)"
"ohhh.... well thank's for coming see you around"

It hurts just acting it out... Is it pathetic to want a fake ID just to hang out with my older friends? Like it's not even to drink! I just want to stay around and chat with everyone... awful.

until next time....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

First Post!

It seems to make sense that for my first post I have absolutely nothing to say... Knowing myself, I'm going to post this then in like an hour think of something brilliant to write. That though, builds up my next post and then the next thing I post must be something amazing. Feels like too much pressure. I'll rephrase: I'm going to post this and then knowing myself will think of something mildly entertaining, but in my opinion, overall mediocre to post in like an hour. See that's much better, because if in fact my next post IS brilliant, I appear modest and harsh on myself. Perfect ;)

smells like the beginning of something amazing! Aw and SOOO modest!