Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Day Two

Well, I'm not really done with day two yet but this will probably be my only time I have to blog about it. Today was a day where I've just been an emotional spark plug. I'm writing points and things down for my one person show I'm trying to put together and they have all been angry. And I started them yesterday, so I'm tempted to not write anymore until I'm done with this haha. My whole show will be me complaining and funny as it might become I still might end looking very whiny. Or people will just think I'm like the female Lewis Black, because it sounds like that too. I'll just have a disclaimer before saying, the first draft of this was written while I was fasting. But so far so good I guess. No significant weight loss to be happy about. I have to stay busy though otherwise I get crazy. I had a dream I was running from a Tsunami last night and I think that might be because of the salt water flush I have to do... But then again tsunami was a trending topic on twitter. I wonder if one happened? Cassandra Cardenes, not up on her events? Rare. Alright I'm going to go to an improv jam with some friends. We'll see how my scenes end up haha. First dude that labels me as a whiny girlfriend in a scene has another thing coming for sure.

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I challenge Lewis Black to a complain off. An attention starved, flaming gay guy will judge the contest.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Master Cleanse

Ughh... My family made the group decision to go on this torture of a cleanse. It's day one and I'm going to do my best to just get through it. I'm curious to just see if it is all worth it. I'll never know for myself unless I just tough it out. Days definitely go slower when you aren't eating though. I wish I could just find a way to sleep most of the time. As lazy as that sounds, sleeping for the majority of 10 days, but the juice actually gives you a lot of energy. It's lemon juice, water, and maple syrup, I personally think it tastes like vomit. But like seriously vomit. Not saying vomit to exaggerate, but think of when you burp or cough a little bit and you taste vomit for whatever reason, that's exactly how it tastes. 40-120 oz of that a day. Normally you add cayenne pepper also, but we take cayenne pills because the pepper makes the lemonade impossible. So far today I've drank 49 oz and I think thats the best I can do. Also it's reccomended to drink your weight in water. You weight 150lbs, try to aim to drink 150 oz. RIDICULOUS. Ahh it's nice to whine. I'll keep posting how the cleanse goes. nobody reads this, but if anyone askes me about the cleanse later, I can redirect them here ;]

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"Complain away girl, I used the master cleanse to lose weight for my part in Dreamgirls and publicly talk about how I didn't like it, but still endorse it." Thanks Beyonce.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Finally got new headshots. That shit sucks so bad. No pressure, but you're modeling for the picture that will be your first impression with everyone that could make or break your career as an actress. Like I said though... No pressure.

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Cassandra! If you keep making that face at the camera it's going to get stuck like that!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Well... I'm a brunette again?

Hmmm it's been awhile... probably because nothing has been going on! I dyed my hair back to it's natural brown and am getting head shots next week... which is nice... There's some video of an "I Am Legend" spoof where I'm a crazed crack head floating around in cyber space somewhere that I can't locate... and uhhhh... Yeah, I think I'm going to acheive my biggest fear and go into standup... We'll see how that goes... I'm aiming to start by the beginning of next year. Oh, and I'm running a 5K in November. Something about cervical cancer... Yup, that's the update of a life of a non working comedianne actress thing. But things are cooking in the writing department and I might start getting some stuff on stage, so I won't let this post discourage me.

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"Come on Cassandra, what's the deal with you? Stand up isn't that bad..." "YOU DON'T GET IT JERRY"