Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm Cassandra AKA Chicken Shit

First of all before I go on a rant about the title, my "live" feed of twitter is really pissing me off because that shit isn't live... it's very slow. follow me at since my feed is stupid...

ANYWHO! So I'm weird... I enjoy being on stage, I enjoy meeting new people and being approached by people and all kinds of positive attention. And when I meet people, I'm typically (depending on my mood and the crowd) loud and I don't know, myself. BUT for some fucking reason I CANNOT approach people I don't know. Well maybe that's dramatic, I can't approach people who I'm a fan of (celebrity, random comedian who is just funny but nobody famous, etc.) or whose insanely attractive. When they are both, which happens most often, it's the WORST. I'd rather sing in public or something that's commonly embarrassing for people then have to approach someone i'm a fan of. Last night David Wain was coming out of Ron and Bev at the UCB theater and I love love love love him. And so does my sister Elizabeth. Elizabeth left yesterday morning to go back home to Colorado so I knew the biggest fuck you to her would be a picture of David Wain and I. I love her, but we do things to spite each other for no reason... and by we, i usually mean i do these things because i really want her to move here so i show off things she will envy. think i'm a bitch? fuck you. Sooooo I saw Wain and my stomach did turns and I was really star struck, which never happens, so that on top of my awful approaching skills made this picture seem impossible. I ended up having to be pushed (non obviously of course) by my friends into speaking to him. I'm pretty sure he was talking to Zoe Deshenel or whatever too and she was the one who took the picture. All the while Elizabeth Banks had just finished talking to David. Star studded event haha. I felt so much better that I did it, but wtf Cassandra?

What are you talking about Cassandra of course I want to take pictures with you... Infact let's take some naked.

How do I get better at approaching people? I'm terrified of the small talk and possible rejection I guess. Not to mention I'm very young... Beyond legal, but young. An attractive (jewish most likely) man strolls out of a theater after putting on an amazingly funny show, I somehow find the balls to speak to him, and our conversation I feel will go one of two ways:

"Hey I'm Cassandra"
"Hi I'm (attractive (jewish) man name)"
"You were really great tonight"
"Thanks" *sees friend thanks me for coming, maybe, and walks away*


"Hey I'm Cassandra"
"Hi I'm (attractive (jewish) man name)"
"You were really funny tonight" (the "funny" instead of "great" is what keeps him talking to me I think)
*---insert awful awkward small talk----*
"So can I buy you a drink, were you planning on going next door?"
"Oh yeah I can't get in next door, I uhhh... don't have an ID"
"Like you forgot it?"
"ummm... -----"
TWO OPTIONS NOW! LIE:"--- yeah I forgot it at home" OR: "--- well it's because i'm (insert unfortunate age here)"
"ohhh.... well thank's for coming see you around"

It hurts just acting it out... Is it pathetic to want a fake ID just to hang out with my older friends? Like it's not even to drink! I just want to stay around and chat with everyone... awful.

until next time....

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