My Two Liner Blog

So I'm unemployed. Well that's a lie, I have a job. But it's not acting or writing or anything that I'd like to spend all my time doing. Let me just start over. I don't write for a talk show. I'd like to, but I don't. Maybe someday. But I like to write two liners. So I'm starting a second blog just for those.

cassandrawritesjokes.blogspot.com

the URL and title is a little lame but whatever, it works for now. I'll try to post new ones at least every weekday. I'm sure there won't be anymore people looking at that blog then this one. But if you ever want to read some jokes on the news, now you know where to go. Don't steal my shit though, I'll cry. Who knows about the quality of the jokes though, because with my experience with two liners, I sometimes write some that don't make a lot of sense to anyone but me. Oh well though. On that note:

I tried, tumblr and wordpress and all that other shit before just seeing that I could add a new blog onto this website using the same log on info and what not. Brilliant right? It was a pain, I didn't understand the other websites. I was lost and confused without blogspot. Blogspot took me a really long time to figure out too though. Don't ask why, I'm just a bit stupid.

I wonder how many blogs are out there like mine that aren't really read by anyone... Like I know a few people who stumble by mine, but what about blogs that literally NOBODY reads. Like people start them but don't tell anyone about them or put up links to it anywhere. They just go and write to nothing. I want to read those blogs. Blogs about people just talking about their days. People treating their blog like a diary. I don't think I could do that because isn't one of the big things about a diary or journalling that other people can't read it? A diary is something to burn ex's in. I couldn't write about my ex on here. He could easily find this thing. Also it wouldn't be very funny because I don't have a lot of bad things to say. OR DO I? You'll never know internet or ex who by insane chance is reading this right now! and you know why? Yeah you do, it's because this isn't my diary.

I sort of want to hunt down some diary blogs and then post the good things I find on here... would that be fucked up? I wouldn't link it to them or use their names just copy and paste... I think I might do it... It might be fucked up though. Whatever this isn't facebook or some popular shit like that, it's my blog that's been looked at by like 15 people. Until I find any sweet and miserable blog posts though, I'll just draw your attention to this sweet picture I found that I think I might use at the end of my videos with my production company's name over it. HA! My production company, as if I spend any money producing the shit that I do. But it does make me sound a little more bad ass.

I assume from our outfits that we are talking about something intriguing. To bad we'll never be taken seriously in these dog faces!

Nick Swardson makes my panties dance.

That title was a little much I think but my hands just typed it so I'll leave it I suppose. Anyway this video fucking rules:

A Very Terry Christmas - watch more funny videos

Pajamarama!

Soooo I was driving home after work when I was hit with loads of inspiration and after 4 crazy voice notes on my phone, and shoving a sketch in Leigh's face, Pajamarama is back on. Hardcore this time though we made like all the websites and shit... which I guess makes things official? So here they are:

pajamaramacomedy.blogspot.com

funnyordie.com/pajamarama

twitter.com/LCpajamarama

and I think we made a facebook fan page which I thought was a bit much but Leigh insisted we do it since we already made all the other ones. So uhhh I mean I guess since we have all the websites we have to start posting shit all the time. I personally think my blog got more interesting once I had videos up so I'm pretty stoked.

All that aside I'd like to return to the thing I was talking about with my 4 crazy voice notes. Why is it that when I was talking into my phone I pretended like I was John Malkovich. I think it was because he was trying to write memoirs in "Burn After Reading" but still, it's a weird feeling being John Malkovich. Also, not an easy voice to imitate. It would always start good but then somehow turn French. It was weird... Well it's 1:15AM sooo back to watching Metalocalypse. A show that I was not really into but since I can never get to sleep early anymore and watch Adult Swim every night, except Saturday when they play anime, it's grown on me... In case anyone fucking cares haha.

"Yeah, I'm John Malkovich and I'm pretty brutal. Oui Oui." I KNEW YOU WERE FRENCH!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So my bestie Leigh Myles needed a 30 second sketch and I agreed because I'm a good friend and this is what I got to do that day... Sorry Mom.

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo - watch more funny videos

And again, some more new headshots

Got signed to a new agency and she demanded different headshots. I went along with it and was put in contact with an amazing photographer named deidhra and I suggest anyone who needs awesome headshots go to her. http://deidhrafahey.com/

obviously not my headshot... but I feel I look nice and bitchy at the same time. So I like it.

Moon Getting Bombed!

Hey sooooo I filmed this sketch that I wrote and here is the video to prove it! For all the people who never read my blog (100% of people I assume) vote funny if you love reaction shots and no production costs!

Moon People in for a surprise! - watch more funny videos

Sweet explosion!

Post Cleanse update

haha I stopped blogging on the cleanse... I went 4 miserable days. but I'm eating healthier! I'm meeting with a new agent tomorrow so we'll see how that goes and I hope to get a video up on funnyordie.com this weekend about a sketch I wrote about NASA bombing the moon. And now, re-watching the whole 6th season of Entourage :]


Mmmm... I'm a sexy beast... I have the least story line in season 6... but it's okay because I still have sex with a girl in every episode.