Day Two

Well, I'm not really done with day two yet but this will probably be my only time I have to blog about it. Today was a day where I've just been an emotional spark plug. I'm writing points and things down for my one person show I'm trying to put together and they have all been angry. And I started them yesterday, so I'm tempted to not write anymore until I'm done with this haha. My whole show will be me complaining and funny as it might become I still might end looking very whiny. Or people will just think I'm like the female Lewis Black, because it sounds like that too. I'll just have a disclaimer before saying, the first draft of this was written while I was fasting. But so far so good I guess. No significant weight loss to be happy about. I have to stay busy though otherwise I get crazy. I had a dream I was running from a Tsunami last night and I think that might be because of the salt water flush I have to do... But then again tsunami was a trending topic on twitter. I wonder if one happened? Cassandra Cardenes, not up on her events? Rare. Alright I'm going to go to an improv jam with some friends. We'll see how my scenes end up haha. First dude that labels me as a whiny girlfriend in a scene has another thing coming for sure.


I challenge Lewis Black to a complain off. An attention starved, flaming gay guy will judge the contest.

The Master Cleanse

Ughh... My family made the group decision to go on this torture of a cleanse. It's day one and I'm going to do my best to just get through it. I'm curious to just see if it is all worth it. I'll never know for myself unless I just tough it out. Days definitely go slower when you aren't eating though. I wish I could just find a way to sleep most of the time. As lazy as that sounds, sleeping for the majority of 10 days, but the juice actually gives you a lot of energy. It's lemon juice, water, and maple syrup, I personally think it tastes like vomit. But like seriously vomit. Not saying vomit to exaggerate, but think of when you burp or cough a little bit and you taste vomit for whatever reason, that's exactly how it tastes. 40-120 oz of that a day. Normally you add cayenne pepper also, but we take cayenne pills because the pepper makes the lemonade impossible. So far today I've drank 49 oz and I think thats the best I can do. Also it's reccomended to drink your weight in water. You weight 150lbs, try to aim to drink 150 oz. RIDICULOUS. Ahh it's nice to whine. I'll keep posting how the cleanse goes. nobody reads this, but if anyone askes me about the cleanse later, I can redirect them here ;]


"Complain away girl, I used the master cleanse to lose weight for my part in Dreamgirls and publicly talk about how I didn't like it, but still endorse it." Thanks Beyonce.

Headshots

Finally got new headshots. That shit sucks so bad. No pressure, but you're modeling for the picture that will be your first impression with everyone that could make or break your career as an actress. Like I said though... No pressure.


Cassandra! If you keep making that face at the camera it's going to get stuck like that!

Well... I'm a brunette again?

Hmmm it's been awhile... probably because nothing has been going on! I dyed my hair back to it's natural brown and am getting head shots next week... which is nice... There's some video of an "I Am Legend" spoof where I'm a crazed crack head floating around in cyber space somewhere that I can't locate... and uhhhh... Yeah, I think I'm going to acheive my biggest fear and go into standup... We'll see how that goes... I'm aiming to start by the beginning of next year. Oh, and I'm running a 5K in November. Something about cervical cancer... Yup, that's the update of a life of a non working comedianne actress thing. But things are cooking in the writing department and I might start getting some stuff on stage, so I won't let this post discourage me.


"Come on Cassandra, what's the deal with you? Stand up isn't that bad..." "YOU DON'T GET IT JERRY"

The 11th Annual Del Close Marathon

Taking place at three theaters in New York, taking a ton of the good performers from the UCB LA and stealing them off to New York for a weekend... This marathon has caused me so much grief... I WISH I WAS THERE. It runs ALL NIGHT and just seems like the most fun ever had... Fuck... Three straight days of delirious, sleep deprived, drunken improv!? Uhhh yes please!! Not to mention all the special classes that people are teaching that weekend. Every picture I look at makes it that much worse to be sitting here in LA. No good shows to watch here, sketch class was canceled because my teacher is gone, just... ugh. Next year, I will fucking be there because now I know it exists far enough in advance that I have no excuse not to be able to afford it. I think the performers that are still in LA are as upset as me... I just need to stay off Facebook and Twitter so that I don't see anymore pictures or anymore "I've slept 6 hours in 48 hours! DCM!" posts. Le sigh...


Next year... at the 12th annual... Elizabeth and I will fucking be there... Just warning you now
body, mind, liver, and New York.

Cassandra and Leigh Pajamarama!

My good friend Leigh and I have decided to work on a two person show that we're going to try to weasel into whatever theater will take us. We'll see how it goes... I'm attempting to write for it right now and well... I ended up on my blog. I have the Sex in the City movie on and had to put down my knitting in exchange for my laptop, but still that Mozilla icon is so much more appealing that the icon for Final Draft. Hmmm what to write about... I watched Paper Heart last night. Not as amazing as I expected, but I still recommend it. 500 days of Summer met my expectations and I recommend also. But nobody reads this yet... Oh well. Back to the two person show... It'll be a nice combination of "real time life" with sketches and videos. We'll change up the dialogue every month to keep it fresh and to keep doing it.

I'm also thinking I need to revisit my guitar and teach myself to play the damn thing and write some songs. Not serious songs, I have nothing serious to say. But fun parody or original silly songs. My most recent inspiration for this was watching Sarah Silverman perform her little "I love you more than..." song on stage. Obviously she isn't the only inspiration to bring music to my comedy, but hers was so cute. And I love her and her sense of humor. Similar to mine. I think... On that note, I feel like I'm done blogging. I'm breaking out the guitar. Meaning I'm pushing off writing material for Leigh and I's show even longer and focusing on my own personal projects. Typical me.


I love you more than Jews love money

Moon People

So Demetri Martin is in pre-production for this movie he wrote the screenplay for called "Moon People". There's not much information about it except that he is going to star in it and he wrote it. The best overview I found said it was about people who were sent to the moon to colonize return to earth. I assume mayhem and hilarity ensues from there. So I've decided I'm going to do whatever I can to bother my acting coach who works close with my old agency who hopefully is going to sign me back next month to get me an audition for that movie. Even if it's a small part. I'm a huge fan of Demetri and even if I don't meet him, I feel like it's a good goal to shoot for. I assume they haven't started casting for it because there is literally NO information about this film. Unless it's like super secret project... but why?


oh yes Cassandra, I definitly want you in my movie. What? You definitly want me inside you? Well, okay. But only because I look like all rugged and sex god ish in this picture you chose for your blog.

So that's the plan. I'll keep updates about it. Nobody reads this yet, but man it's gonna be cool if I end up in the movie and I have proof that I called it.

Til then, I must admit that I've been trying to make a really shitty mixtape and can always think of like one or two songs and download entire albums and then end up enjoying them. I think this means I have awful taste in music... I wanted some poppy dumb Jason Mraz song for the shitty mixtape but now am listening to the whole album. It has lifted my spirts. wtf Jason, quit being so happy go lucky. alright i'm done with this post.